_Infatuation, a surface admiration of unreasonable power and attachment. But what’s more unreasonable? the power or the attachment (perspective)?_

  
_When the layers of the object of our desire, be it an actual object, person, or an idea, have yet to be revealed, we project our ideals most strongly._

  
_Perhaps infatuation is a likely attempt at control, an unintended consequence of passion, on what we might want to see, what we hope it to be, or what we’ve been made to see, as we align in a repetition of will, in patterns of our proclivities._

  
_Cartoonish and incomplete, infatuation’s unreasonable grasp paints a piercing superficial visage, an artifice, at once incomplete and lacking of the proper depth we unconsciously seek, shrouded in the modes of appreciation that attract us, like beauty, deference, and the hope of something or someone, an objectification that relents only when we progress to the knowing of true intimacy._

“Infatuation”

_Contemplating lost plans, nostalgia, and the fragmentation of dissociation prompts reflection on what occurs when connections break, whether intentionally or not. Uncoupling, regardless of its scale or emotional investment, represents an event in itself – a link severed from a chain._

_What becomes of the plans made? The memories retained? And how does retrospection unfold? Over time, faces fade, and words become increasingly inaudible, falling into the realm of forgotten recollections._

  
_As we grapple with the complexities of loss, it's imperative to acknowledge the fallacy inherent in its aftermath. While genuine growth often emerges from loss, navigating this process proves challenging due to the unreliable nature of human memory. Our minds have a tendency to magnify both the positive and negative associations with loss, a phenomenon known as rosy retrospection, distorting our perception of reality._

  
_Despite the method of loss, such as the modern phenomenon of "ghosting," which is often socially acceptable yet morally dubious, understanding its cognitive fallacy is crucial. While viewing events through "rose-colored glasses" may temporarily boost self-esteem and well-being, it can also perpetuate detachment from genuine human connections, prompting reflection on the societal implications of practices like ghosting and their impact on the erosion of community and intimacy._

  
_Is ghosting truly as devastating as it initially seems, or is it merely a product of contemporary terminology? While it may appear as a newer social phenomenon, the act of ghosting is not entirely novel, as people have severed connections long before the advent of 21st-century communication technologies. At its core, ghosting represents a simple act – a sudden and abrupt break in communication, devoid of the usual niceties or genuine closure, leaving behind a lingering sense of confusion and pain._

“Casper Rose”

Loneliness is as much bound to the quality of one's relationships as it is to the number of connections one has. It doesn't only stem from heartache or isolation. Currently, supported by clinical services and practices like those of Weill Cornell and the US Surgeon General, we are facing an alarming loneliness epidemic affecting half of American adults. This epidemic, exacerbated by increased human mobility, online interactions, social media, and the COVID-19 pandemic, poses significant public health hazards, linked to more than a 25% increase in the risk of premature death. We are on the precipice of a considerable psycho-social disease, ever-increasing in pathogenesis.

  
Our collective isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic further deepened a social abyss that had been building since the major advent of social media in the early 2010s. This period, colored by post-9/11 shock, fear, distrust, and trauma, gave way to an era of overstimulation, cheap dopamine thrills, misinformation, and a digital-cultural dependency that stunts our mental wellness sustainability. We have become addicts constantly craving the cotton-candy distractions from our real-world turbulence. But how do we remedy this condition?

  
While professionals urge communities to create social spaces, encourage personal interactions, and individuals to use support networks and engage in communal activities, more collective efforts from healthcare providers, policymakers, and individuals are required to foster meaningful social connections. Combating this epidemic in these ways often feels like the same old band-aiding and posturing—“subtraction by additions” and hope—rather than implementing true measures of change. We need actual social healthcare and socio-economic aid that targets the roots of our collective despair and the factors perpetuating our declining well-being, such as the monetization of our every waking moment in the name of power, defense, and production.

  
If that’s the case, our condition is highly unlikely to change. So where do we go now? We go where we always do: to each other. Look to those direct one-on-one interactions that you have on a daily basis, affecting the life of a total stranger, student, family member, or friend. Endeavor to make connections physically whenever possible. Ask questions, learn facts, accept feelings and opinions—whether in unison or dissent—work on it, and give a damn.

  
The truth is, not everyone is faring well in this transition to digital life, losing themselves in the parasocial chasms of modernity. Socializations will soon be ubiquitously artificial, rendered, and disseminated by the technocrats who perpetuate our condition. That’s okay. If it isn’t for you—which you can tell by how it makes you feel—make your own way socially. Be yourself and find your people. Seek out those who appreciate direct communication, the natural world, openness, humility, failure, and vulnerability. Destroy the notions that suspend you in cultural pitfalls like FOMO, the vanity of oversharing, objectivism/individualism, and the obsession with winning. Not all assimilation is necessary, sufficient, or meaningful. Your life actually depends on it.

  

"Abyssmaltude"

_Intimacy, at its core, is the sense of closeness and trust that allows individuals to share privileged information with others. While commonly associated with romantic relationships, intimacy extends beyond, manifesting in various forms, such as physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, social, creative, conflict, and aesthetic phases of our lives._

  
_These connections are not confined to long-standing relationships; even brief encounters can foster intimacy if they allow vulnerability, the true prerequisite for achieving intimacy._

_The myriad colors of intimacy provide a comprehensive view of how connections manifest, encompassing physical touch, emotional expression, shared intellectual interests, aligned spiritual beliefs, common experiences, open social interactions, collaborative creativity, respectful conflict resolution, shared aesthetic appreciation, and supportive work relationships._

  
_As inherently social creatures, humans thrive on connections, as intimate relationships provide a sense of validation, learning, and growth. Given the impact that intimacy has on our mental and emotional health and socialization, even in its loss, intimacy provides us with the greatest opportunity for mending and growth. Losing a relationship of great intimacy renders us in a grief of unimaginable profundity, offering the most substantial opportunities for unbridled social and personal progression._

  
_Real intimacy, however, is seemingly rare. At present, where the lure of positive social and professional outcomes linked to optics overall is a perpetrator of our collective dissociation, born on the aesthetics of control, we've taken every opportunity to distance ourselves from each other to contribute to a greater social image of largely superficial aesthetics and experiences, dissolving community and the social contract. Intimacy seems like an island amidst rougher waters than those of the North Sea, making true vulnerability as fearful as ever in the disruption of our contemporary social constructs and implications._

  
_But real intimacy is only achieved in vulnerability. Perhaps vulnerability, true, physical-world vulnerability, is a way out of the social tumult we've engendered since the Covid-19 Pandemic and other hits of the 21st century._

“A Secret Garden”

_In each and every iteration, the modern relationship begins with a spark. The most incendiary of modern relationships, however, form organically, within the happenstance of oblivion, the ignition occurring at the intersection of physiology, chemistry, and cognition._

“Serendipity”

_On the path to intimacy, from serendipity to suffusion, we often, some of us more than others, experience an anxiety of doubt, an imposition that detains our will and reality, leading to fallacies in value, perception, and acceptance in the absence of a true and certain reality._

  
_In the context of relationships, particularly those of great importance, such as professional networking of higher ordering or the impact of intimacy in budding romance, this anxiety can be seen materializing as an imposter syndrome of sorts, causing misinterpretation, miscommunication, and self-doubt. We may question our worthiness or fall into a “too good to be true” mindset._

  
_Doubt may arise due to investment, excitement, and social constructs, leading to negative ruminations that cloud our perceptions, brought on by negative-scenario-based generalizations that “discolor” our perceptions of both ourselves and others and persist a circuitous thought pattern of misguidance._

_Continuing to allow these ruminations to persist (when “allow” is a privilege) leaves us in a monstrous emptiness of our own dismayed design._

_We simply can’t know everything._

“Doubt / Generalization / Fallacy”

_Pistanthrophobia, an anxiety disorder that presents as a persistent, excessive, often irrational fear of trusting others or being hurt by someone you love._

  
_Considered a “specific phobia,” unique to situational or thematic stimuli, often the result of experiencing a serious disappointment or painful ending (a trauma) to a prior relationship._

_While the context for Pistanthrophobia centers on interpersonal, romantic relationships, it seems to me there’s a more general, social application here. You can feel it in our society as a collective consciousness, shared in our collective spaces, regarding our collective communal relationships, be it interpersonal, familial, vocational, etc._

  
_Our social-culture, driven by the constraints of parasocial relationships (technological media, our most divisive social accelerants), is suffering from a great phobia of trustworthiness, a prime social principle. Perhaps because we’ve taken each and every opportunity to arrest community development, socio-emotional cohabitation, and social intimacy._

  
_The anxiety we possess in avoiding adverse loss, whether that’s destitution, hate, mis-identity, or general emotional affliction, has seemingly rendered us indifferent, apathetic, and unperspicacious._

  
_Sadly, when you avoid relationships, you also limit yourself from experiencing the positive aspects of one, neglecting the opportunity to develop what might help you gain perspective or understanding as to why the prior simply didn’t work._

_Easier said than done._

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Pat Marino